Just to report what I did to make inactive sims share double bed with their spouse or fiancee, when playing with homeopener:
1. I reseted town, save game, quit and put nraas mod sleep freedom out, which enables all kind of sims and ages to sleep together in a double bed
2. I replaced after reload all double beds which were replaced by sleep freedom, because these nraas...beds do not function anymore as beds (which is important for exporting or sharing lots)
3. Now the game handles the bedsleep the standard way, means
- when non related, only married or enagaged sims can sleep together in a double bed

So, for me this is perfect now, as my inactive sims marry autonomously very fast and my actives are at least engaged when a partner moves into my active house