There are (at least) four or five different ingredients here although it sounds like you have a handle on most of these already.
-- The relationship bar shows us how much the sims like each other, but that doesn't mean they are attracted.
-- The Scan Room score takes mutual attraction into account but also current conditions like moods and needs being met. But scores of 160 and higher are pretty good and shouldn't really be a barrier.
-- The short term context (STC) should rise to irresistible, but my long term couples and those who have extreme mutual attraction can usually settle for alluring.
-- Your sims will likely not be willing or able to woohoo if their motives are too low (hungry, tired, bladder, etc.)
And some couples just take longer to warm up to each other. Some additional things that can help along the way would be flirt and romance friendly traits (if one of them is Unflirty then all bets are off), LTRs, romantic drinks, cinnamon, elixirs and spells (kind of extreme, just listing for completeness). If you are playing with KamaSimtra in place, higher KS skills and Renown scores will also help a lot.
Am afraid Chain or one of the others would have to explain the technical details behind Trait Scoring.
Liking gate isn't making any sense?
‼‼ Enough said.
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